I always wonder how come a Woman be so cruel to another woman. I mean consider all the cases of Dowry, infant mortality etc, the main offender or provoking party in all these cases is a female either as Mother in law or any elder female relative. I know Men are animals but when it comes to family matters its the woman who is generally the driving force. I just couldn't understand how can she forgot that even she went through all these things and at that time she also didn't like it at all , so how can she repeat all those stuffs to someone else.
A got an answer few days back while reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns " by Khaled Hosseini . The female protagonist of the first part Mariam is an illegitimate child who lives with her mother, who having seen the cruelties of life, being a woman, always protest especially when Mariam starts dreaming about spending some happy times with her Father and even threatens to kill herself(and ultimately does) when Mariam decides to spend her birthday with her father and her siblings.
Seeing her protests, Mariam says this to herself, which I feel is true, She thinks "I think mother You are afraid, You are afraid that I will find the happiness that you never had"
I also feel in most of the cases people feel that if they were made to go through something, no matter how bad it was , there subordinates should also go through the same experience.
Will continue.......
A got an answer few days back while reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns " by Khaled Hosseini . The female protagonist of the first part Mariam is an illegitimate child who lives with her mother, who having seen the cruelties of life, being a woman, always protest especially when Mariam starts dreaming about spending some happy times with her Father and even threatens to kill herself(and ultimately does) when Mariam decides to spend her birthday with her father and her siblings.
Seeing her protests, Mariam says this to herself, which I feel is true, She thinks "I think mother You are afraid, You are afraid that I will find the happiness that you never had"
I also feel in most of the cases people feel that if they were made to go through something, no matter how bad it was , there subordinates should also go through the same experience.
Will continue.......
Indeed a thought provoking subject. Yesterday I read sm1's blog on Ragging and how men grow brutal and enjoy sm1 in agony or pain or harassment. I thought it's only with men. Today, I read ur blog on how women enjoy the same. I think, the common thing in both cases is "absence of emotional bond". I know it contradicts your example from Thousand Splendid Suns, but that's because you're in the middle of the book. When you go further you'll realize that a mother can never have this feeling for her child. The brutality can only come when the emotional bond is not there.
ReplyDeleteActually what I feel is that its both due to absence and presence of that emotional bond....In some cases the strong emotional bond for one causes you to do such brutality towards the other person.....
ReplyDeleteWhat I fail to understand is the absence of human bond.
But may be as I was reading somewhere (forgot where and the exact wordings) but it meant something like this...most of the people in this world take on a war with an attitude to make the other person lose not with an attitude for themselves to win....People are more happy to see others suffer.
And in the above comment war doesn't mean the one the countries fight...its more of the ego clashes and brutalities.
ReplyDeletehmmm.. probably, you're right. And, I think I've felt that feeling in myself too...when more than your own happiness, it's other's sufferings that make you feel better. I don't know whether it's jealousy or hatred or vengeance.. But, the feeling is part of human emotions. But, the difference is the level to which each human being allows it to grow or come out in.
ReplyDeleteHi, I totally agree what you wrote about the legacy of dowry and it's like a hereditary disease in medical terms, it never stops even though it is banned. Me too I always think how can a women inflict the same torture they received in the past. May be they think everybody should suffer like them and it should go on and on.
ReplyDelete