Every day when you are made to realise that you are not good, there is something gravely wrong with you, you are not as per someone's requirement then you just feel like killing yourself

Some say love by Bette Midler

Heard this song few days back..really amazing..soothing music and lovely lyrics.

  

Some say love it is a river

that drowns the tender reed

Some say love it is a razer

that leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger

an endless aching need

I say love it is a flower

and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking

that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking

that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken

who cannot seem to give

and the soul afraid of dying

that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely

and the road has been too long

and you think that love is only

for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows

lies the seed

that with the sun's love in the spring

becomes the rose

Movies galore....

Of late I am on movie watching spree and have watched some already –seen and some never-seen-before-by-me movies.

Will talk more or less about the ones I saw for the first time.

Foremost I saw Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows Part 1. Well like with most of the movies being made from books this one too had the same problem. It seemed to move too quickly. Having read the book, especially the last part so many times I somehow had every scene already drawn in my mind and maybe that’s why it seemed that everything was happening so fast without much detail. Obviously they cannot show everything in 2 n ½ hour. Nevertheless it was an ok types movie and I am really looking forward to the last installment. So Goblet of fire and the first two installments still remain the ones that I like the most in this movie series.

Second was Mr and Mrs Smith. Somehow I never liked Angelina Jolie, so surprisingly (I thought it out after watching this movie) this was the first movie that I ever saw of this girl. And man I can understand why she is so popular. She definitely have an attractive face, won’t call pretty or beautiful but her face has a kind of sensuality in it. Well since Ocean’s trilogy is one of my favorite movie series so I anyway like Brad Pitt a lot. He has got some style. It’s a story two killers who are married together for 5-6 years (that’s what Brad Pitt says, not 5 nor 6 ,its 5-6) but both of them don’t know that the other is a killer too until they are setup by the their respective agency to kill each other. So then start the cat n mice fight to kill each other until they realize they cannot kill each other and then they combine to protect each other. Well the movie started well but the second half lost the charm. But their chemistry and first half was really worth watching.

Third was a highly recommended movie by the name “500 days of Summer”. And as the narrator says at the start its not a regular boy-girl love story. The first interesting thing about this movie is that its only after 5 minutes of the movie that you understand that Summer is the name of the female lead (at least that was the case with me as I have not read the reviews earlier) and after that the title made sense 500 days spent for a girl. Second interesting thing was the character of the little sister of the male lead. She was barely 10-12 year old girl who acted as his counselor. Her role was really amazing and the way she advised him on his love life and after the break up with the girl, was quite impressive. So this is a movie everyone who has loved and lost should see in fact not necessary for you to have lost but you will understand the essence more if you have lost ;). It’s a story that shows the 500 days in life of Tom starting from the first day he met the girl but the interesting part was the days were shown in random order. I don’t know but this movie somehow is one that could be both helpful and dangerous for someone who is trying to forget someone…lol

So that’s all for the day..I know an update on the books is still pending and definitely on my cards but till then enjoy :)

As I turned 26....

Ok I know I was supposed to write something on it the day it actually happened but that day I could only muster that post which was not that happy -happy.

So after exactly a week has passed I am here to share how it has been so far.

Well on that day my beloved elder sis called me (she is currently in some other town pursuing her PhD) and asked me "so 26 now ? Till 25 its fine but 26 is like you start feeling older now" And later another friend called me up and said more or less the same thing.

To both of them I told that I don't think so in fact I din't feel anything different. It seems the same, neither more young nor more old. I told them that may be turning 30 will be a milestone and we may not be same after that but before that I don't think life will anyway change while we are still in the 20's.

So as the tradition has been going on since last few years, My mom cooked the season's first Gajar Halwa (a sweet dish made from Carrots) and also cooked a lot of other delicacies.
Apart from that there were no other celebrations that day.

But since Tuesday onwards till Thursday , every day I had a party.
First on Tuesday with two of the people who for the last few months have made my life in the office so memorable. One a very pretty girl who is as sweet in nature and company as she is in appearance and the second is a guy who can make anyone laugh with his antics. Unfortunately it was the last of the many memorable eating rendezevous we three had in the last few months as he moved to some other firm.
Second was next day when I had to bring sweets and snacks for my office colleagues and lastly the day after me and my team mates went to have lunch together.

All in all its going fine and I have a lot of things planned for the coming year about which I will be updating soon....

Calender of my own...

I have decided to make a calender of my own with pictures that I will take throughout the year.

Initially I only plan to compile anything that I come across but later I would like to improvise it to either a theme based or at least each photo specific to that month.

Nothing important but still...

I don't know but I feel both sad as well as contented that she din't wish me today. I am not feeling angry but at the same time I don't know I want to not-complain but share with someone. I know she might have forgotten it and I deserve to be forgotten. And its not that she is the only one who hasn't wished but somehow all my expectations n wishes are most from her even after everything.

The worst is I don't even have the right to complain to her  :( :( :( :(

Sketches V - Faces

Liked the Tortoise and the baby..... The third one was not supposed to be a Clown.

Baby

Tortoise



Clown



Sketches IV - Random 2

Some more random sketches...

Eye

Always wanted to draw a Hand.

Hand

Side Faces

Sketches III - Random

 Not so good I know ...nevertheless like the baby



Baby II



Cat


Horse

 

That was supposed to be a Horse :-P

 

Face

 

Sketches II - Cartoons

Some cartoons....

I think the best ones I have drawn :-P





Puppy

 



Kitty

  

Mr Simpson



Mickey Mouse



Sketches - I ... Face of Girls.

Forget why I have not shared them earlier. Its been almost an year since I drew them...

The first one.... Face of girls :)

Girl Face I

I know need some tidying up but since it was the first one so never mind.....

Girl Face II

A friend of mine once told me that if from a sketch you can determine whether its of a girl or a guy then that itself certifies that its a good sketch :)

Girl Face III

Procrastinating ....

There are so many things that I think of doing everyday but I always procrastinate.

I have to:

• Play my guitar and pick up something new on it.  - Good thing is that I can still play all the old stuff that I know.
• Get my bicycle repaired and ride it daily - Hmmmm.
• Exercise - something that will make my mom so happy.
• Try to learn dance myself - Or atleast join some dance class.
• Learn and practice Sketching from online tutorials - I told my folks that I will sketch the running horse that they were fidning so hard to buy. But I din't and they bought it from the market :(
• Ofcourse write my blog - My cell phone broke down so I am currently using my older cell phone and GPRS is not working on it :( So that puts a break on whatever little micro blogging I was doing.

For almost a month I have been continously working at office well past my office time so that again gives me a lot of excuse for not doing any of the stuff I wrote above.

But thank god despite all this, one thing I am able to do religiously is read some novels, which reminds me that it has been long since I updated about the books that I have read/reading.

Good that gives me a certain topic to write about :). So see you soon.

Great sporting day :)

One of the great sporting day. First Sania Mirza enters semi final of tennis singles event at Asian Games. Then India beats Pakistan in Hockey. Then most of Indian Boxers make it to semi final of their perspective events in Asian Games. Indian cricket team reduces New Zealand to 127/7. Then in the evening first Tottenham Hotspurs comes from behind to defeat Arsenal in Premier League , then ManU defeats Wigan with Rooney back on field and at the end the icing on the cake, Chelsea loses enabling ManU equal them on points and be at top of the table. All in all a nice day for me to relax after almost two hectic weeks at office. Tomorrow will go to watch a movie with Mom n Dad :)

Done with it...

I know I have messed it big time. I know I have done a lot of mistakes in that relation. I have been immature, I have been a psycho. I know she does not need me at all. She is ok with how things are. I know I have screwed it up by being in love with her, by thinking that we are the best of friends, by aspiring for an exclusive relation. Over the last 2 years and half I have tried a lot to convince myself I don't need her and I have reached a level where yes I am better but yet not fully over her. But since I think I have to live in her vicinity for long so now I really want to get done with the way I have been living since last 2 years. I want to live happily.

I love dogs....

Well this story dates back to a long time back when I was learning guitar. So my guitar tutor had a dog who was quite dear to him. So one day when I went to class my tutor's father told me that today there won't be any class as he is quite upset as his dog has died. His father told me that the whole night he was awake sitting with the dog talking n embracing him. I was touched as well as I thought wow a man n dog's relation is indeed a beautiful one and although I couldn't experience it when I was a kid but now since I do feel quite alone and as they say a dog is man's best friend so I definitely should get one. So I went home and told my mom about my wish. She very cutely discarded the idea stating that Either it will be her or the dog who will live in the house. I din't push much as I realised that since she will be the one who will be mostly home and have to take care of the dog so there is no point in going ahead if she is not at all willing.

I love the way a dog and man care for each other . The way they communicate with each other without having to utter a single word. The way they hug, walk along etc.


When I was a kid I never longed for a dog because of their average living time which is around 10-12 years. I knew that I will get very much attached to my dog and the very idea of departing from them makes me feel sad, so it will be really difficult for me to get in term with his death.Thats why I never liked the idea of living with something which leaves you so early.


Nevertheless looks tough for me to have one now but I hope if I ever have kids and they want to have one I will try to be supportive :)


Apart from a dog I don't think I would like to have any other animal as pet. 


PS: Sorry I could not find the photo of the puppy I clicked once and as I mentioned earlier that will try to add a self clicked pic with every post of mine so I will update it later :)

Deepawali n Kali Puja

Deepawali or Diwali is one of the foremost festivals which is celebrated with much fervor and flare in India. It is celebrated over 5 days and is celebrated by lighting diyas (earthen lamps) , bursting crackers , distributing sweets, decorating houses with lights and lanterns ,by praying to God/Goddess, wearing new clothes and more so ever by spending time and sharing happiness with ones family and loved ones.

This occasion is marked as the victory of good over evil. 

Different religions worship different Gods on Diwali but I will mainly talk of the Gods my religion and people worship. 

We Hindus worship Lord Ganesh, god of success, and Goddess Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and prosperity.

As per Hindu Mythology on this day Lord Rama returned to his kingdom Ayodhya along with his wife Goddess Sita and brother Lakshman, after completing 14 years of exile, so his return is celebrated by lighting lamps, bursting crackers and distributing sweets.

As it is called the festival of lights (Deep meaning lamps and along with awali means rows of lamps) so it is mainly a festival celebrated at night but the excitement and the involvement can be seen throughout the day. On this day people not only distribute sweets and gifts to their loved ones but also buy decorative items, new stuffs and clothes for themselves, so weeks before the actual day, markets can be seen bursting with people.

Since I am a Bengali so we mainly celebrate Kali Puja on this day. Goddess Kali is the goddess    of power and on this day we pray to her throughout the night. 

In ancient times and also still now at some places on this day, people sacrifice animals to Goddess Kali.

Generally we fast(don't eat or drink anything ) throughout the day and after praying to her whole night we break our fast. 

As I myself never fast because the moment I break it I generally overeat :) but this time I am planning to observe it. I know it will be tough especially with so many sweets lying around but nevertheless it will be fun.

So wishing you all A Very Happy Deepawali. May God Bless You All and shower you with all the prosperity and blessing you desire and deserve :)

Twilight - Eclipse

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess… When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”


Well I watched new movie in the Twilight series , Eclipse, few weeks back and although the movie was so so but there was this graduation day speech in the movie which was given by Jessica (female protaganist's friend) which was really rocking.

I was straight away moved by this and although we din't get the opportunity to do what all is said in this but I want that every person who is graduating or will graduate shoule read it and follow it.

Perception - Men Vs Women

Women Friends chatting in office.
 
Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!
 
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
 
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

Funny but so true. Having read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" from John Gray and also from your truly's own experiences I can so much relate to the above. Forget Girls even Guys at times don't have the same perception about certain sensitive issues of life.

But this is something both guys and girls should realize and accept and more quickly they understand this, more merrier their life will be :)

Girls are so lucky...

Girls are so lucky. They can anytime hug their Mom and cry ...

Amanush...

Everyday I get up with this hope that today there will be a miracle which will mend everything, which will make me feel happy, will make me feel good about myself. I feel like doing anything that will make me appreciate my existence. Anything that will for one moment will make me genuinely happy, will make me feel good about myself.

Mahastri says that it was for you to have control on your emotions. If killing your emotions or suppressing your feelings means having control on your emotion then yes I do have control on my emotions. But then why it makes me feel emotionless? why no act of anyone touches me anymore? Why I haven't felt like Wow since last so many months? Even grave situations is not able to stir the calmness or senseless feeling in my heart. Its good too as I no longer get bothered by anything but sometimes it makes me feel I have become too calm especially with strangers, acquaintances and people in general.

...

Whats the difference between Mutual love & One Sided Love?

Answer - Mutual love is always remembered as "They love each other" while OSL is always remembered as "He/She doesn't love her/him"

Mangal Mangal ....

Image taken from http://www.yogiji.ca/images/indian-astrology.jpg

Our society is simply amazing .

Here we get two people married, who forget love, even don't know each other well and expect that this marriage will work for sure as their Kundlis match . And at the same time we won't let two people marry who love each other , who happen to know each other for more than year , just because their kundlis don't match and the astrologer has "predicted" that the marriage won't work.

Is it justified ? How can kundli's or astrology determine some people's future? Does people whose kundli match in all respects don't have problems in their marriage or if they decide to spend their life just on what is predicted from Kundli without making efforts , their marriage will work?

Nope it won't . But still why our elders are so hell bent on doing things as per astrology? Why don't they understand that a relation is successful based on the willingness and efforts of the parties involved.

Rakshabandhan ...

It was Rakshabandhan today and it was my first one on which I was not with my Didibhai. But nevertheless she had mailed me the Rakhis already.(See the Pic above)

Rakshabandhan is that day on which a Sister ties a Rakhi on her Brother's hand praying for his long and prosperous life and the brother in turn vow to protect her throughtout the life.

Over the years this tradition has elevated from Brother-Sister to friends, Father-Daughter, even Husband-Wife, even MahaStri used to tell me that she will tie a Rakhi on her husband's hand and I always used to text her or greet her on this day but anyways....

One thing that I feel about Brother and Sister relation is that when we are kids we have a different kind of relation i.e. we are at times jealous of each other or we get angry when we see our parents favor the other one more (in fact most of the times its our own imagination) but as we grow up and become more responsible we somehow get over all those feelings and we share a strong mutual love and respect for each other. I am not saying its not present when we are kids but these are more predominant as we mature.

As we grow up, for a guy his sister is someone for whom he wants to care all the time, to whom he wants to give everything that she wants and this feeling is same irrespective of whether you are elder or younger to her and in the same way for a girl his brother is the best person around, the one on whom she rely or trust the most.

Somehow these feelings are not there or visible when we are kids . Childhood is spent more in disturbing each other and as we grow up all that takes back seat and you just take this relation to another level.

Wishing my Sister A Very Happy Rakshabandhan and May God Bless Her Always :)

Bournville....

Treated myself to a Bournville and I believe the first extravagant thing that I have ever treated myself to. Actually wanted to have a chocolate and this was only one available at the office shop.

The advertisement for Bournville shows that before you have it you should ask yourself  Whether you have earned it ? and if you have then only you should devour it.

Man after shelling out Rs 80 from your pocket for it you definitely can say ya I have earned it .

Who Cares??

So strange most of the time I am surrounded by people to whom it doesn't matter whether I am happy or sad? In fact I am damn sure that for most it won't even matter if I am dead or alive. But still why do we care for their affection or attention?

God n Me .. II

Hey God,

At this very moment I hate you. I know I will be begging at your feet in future for your kindness, help , love etc but at this very moment I am really angry with you. 

Don't have much to say but really angry.

God n Me ...

 

 

Will recall some lines that had been characteristic of my life earlier too and today too these are finding it hard to leave me alone

"Aaj phir dil ne ek tamanna ki, Aaj phir dil ko humne samjhaya"

"Aadmi aadmi se milta hai, par dil yahan kisi kisi se milta hai. Bhul jaata hun uska har ek sitam, wo kuch is saadgi se milta hai"

Of late myself and God has developed a funny relation too. Every now n then God plays small jokes with me and the worst part is that God never leaves me any option other than to laugh along.

One thing I can't do in bus, unlike others, is to fall asleep. I really long to sleep in bus so that I can pass those dreaded minutes as soon as possible but I am seldom able to do so , be it morning or evening. So today as I was feeling little heavy in my head I tried and by God's grace I started feeling sleepy. But as God's wish when I was floating on the threshold of sleep just then my phone rang. And it was someone whom I can label as the last person whose call I ever expect and that too about something totally unexpected. And after forget sleeping I can't even sit easy.

Quote...

When I am reading, I don't understand why I ever stop doing that.

New Look ...

Of late I have started surfing other people's (read people I don't know) blog again. And after seeing and reading those, I have realized that even though I am going to complete 300 posts soon but I am no where near being called a blogger.

Lets forget about the content and the huge number of followers they have , the way they have structured and presented their posts is really commendable.

So I have too decided that I will now start presenting my posts in a better way. To start with I will start putting a photo along with my posts and will try to make sure that most of them are clicked by me. In that way I will also be able to fulfil my desire of capturing moments myself. I will start using a new tag "My Clicks" in those posts so that people can now that I have myself clicked those. Plus I will update most of the already published posts too with the photos.

Also I will try to increase the followership of my blog but for that I think I really need to work on the content I write about.

Anyways I do plan to write a lot from now onwards.

So fasten your seat belts and enjoy the burpy ride :)

Love Birds :)

Now a days with the raining season going on, a pair of Pigeons come and sit on our bathroom window, trying to keep themselves dry.

The sight always fascinate me to click a photo which I did and thus sharing.

Its more endearing to see them sit their at night all bundled and somewhat scared.

Wish I could click that too but due to poor light and angle I can't . The flash totally ruins the setting and its also no good in capturing the real essence.

I don't want to go to school ...

Every morning when I wait for my friend in front of my apartment , I can see a bunch of children waiting with their mothers for their school buses. So among those kids there are a couple of brothers one of whom has just started going to school. So everyday he comes down crying and wailing. Although he doesn't speak much but I can sense him saying I don't want to go to school. So this reminds me of my school days. When I too just started going to school, my mother used to take me there and I too used to cry saying I don't want to go. Later I don't remember crying :-D but I guess barring some days I always used to wish aaj chutti ho jae bhagwan? (Please make it a holiday god). I loved my school friends and spending time with them but like most I think I too used to dread getting up so early in the morning for the school.

Life...

Life is so funny , just today in the morning I was thinking that I went to Khajaraho and someday someone will ask me about how to go there , how to plan etc etc and just few minutes back a friend called me and asked me exactly the same as they are planning to go there.

After having read the Secret , I am obliged to say that its all "Law of attraction" but somehow I don't think that its got anything to do with that.

...

Did U see tht I missed U?
Did U see the happiness in my smile?
It was good to hear ur voice,
but couldn't see the glint in ur eyes.
I was lost in ur talks,Was roaming around in ur tales.
It was weeks since I listened to ur sweet voice,
months since I stared at ur face.
Then you said I will let U work now,
And I was back again,
Sitting in the office,
which just moment ago seemed like an heavenly place :(

....

Last few moments in Grenoble office ..will leave for India early tomorrow morning...Its feeling strange... 

Firsts continued ...

Sorry for such an abrupt and random updates... Actually most of the times I don't get time to write or don't feel like writing.

So yesterday for the first time in my life I attended a pop concert. It was fun to be there although I was there only for 15-20 minutes.

Got drenched in rain in the night while coming back from dinner. i don't know when was the last time I got drenched fully even in India.

A musical festival is going on here in the office ...(the pop concert was not part of it..it happened somewhere outside)...so today I attended one session during lunch time and there was a group who sang some song which was melodious. Then there was group, most probably from outside ST who performed with drums, a lot of different size of trumpets, etc It was quite a crazy group and were performing quite weird acts with the instruments but nevertheless it was quite fun.

It has stopped raining...people said quite unusual to rain at this time of the year....hopefully the weather will clear up and I will be able to see some local sites in Grenoble which I am yet to see..

Anyways not much time before I land back in India :)

....

Was stuck in a traffic jam , although that had been the case whole this week here in Grenoble but today it was quite major with you could that for almost a stretch of around 2-3 kilometers not single vehicle was moving , so I had to walk to the office...And they say that only in India we have horrible traffic jams....Obviously people here don't change their lanes as we do in India and the jams are not that frequent as in India.

Firsts continue....

Had lemon pie for the first time ...it was so yummy :)

First the plane came late from Amsterdam. Then the wheel got broken, so they quickly changed the wheel but its sensor broke down. So they tried changing it with the sensor from the older wheel but that seems quite complicated so now they decided to bring another new wheel phew :-(. Now I feel my connecting flight from Amsterdam to Lyon will be shifted. Hmmm...

Was supposed to fly at 1 am but its 4 am and I am still on Indian ground :(. Atleast boarded the plane. All air hostesses are elder than my mother :( or atleast they look so :-)

Days of firsts starts...

For the first time I am boarding a flight from Indira Gandhi international airport. And my first international flight is delayed by at least 2 and half hours. For the first time I had turkey subway sub in my life. Nothing different, tastes almost similar to chicken. All this is so intimidating, like waiting. Got two more people from my office who are flying in the same airline. The airline gave us another sub, juice and chips as complimentary snacks for our delayed flight :-)

Whistling :-)

I just put a status on Facebook that I want to whistle along with the song I am listening but couldn't because of my surroundings.

So it just reminds me of an incident which I wanted to share since long.

One day I was driving and my mom n dad were there with me and some song was playing on radio so I started whistling along with it. Although I thought that when I was kid and used to do something similar my dad always used to scold me but now I thought it should be fine as I am an adult now :-). So I continued whistling. I don't remember whether it was the next day or some days later but we three were watching some Bengali sitcom and in one of the scene the guy, around my age, came to the room in which his dad was sitting and started whistling and suddenly my Mom commented something "Nejer babar samne whistling korche" meaning "How can he whistle in front of his dad?". And the previous days incident came to my mind and I felt so embarrassed. Although its another matter that I have still not stopped doing it :-)

:-)

Gonna do a lot of firsts in the coming weeks ...

An Interesting Wish :-)

An interesting wish came to my mind. I want to pose alongside a hooded snake as if two friends standing side by side with no one holding the snake. I think it will be real fun. Hope I do it someday. It will be great if its done with a wild snake :-)

Kya itna buraaa hun main Maa... :-(

Bought a Digi Cam :-)

I bought my first digi cam today Canon IXUS 95. Its a compact camera. A genuine one. Couldn't go for a one which gives more control. Anyways a cool one to start with. Will soon upload the photos that I take. I expect to use it regularly in fact if possible daily. Wish could take it to office too.

What to talk about?

Sometimes I wish I could be invisible so that I could sit around conversing people and find out what exactly they are talking about. I feel so deprived of things on which I can converse with people. I think I am the quietest guy ever who seldom has anything to talk about. Its not that I don't know about things. I do. Its just what to talk about is missing. I can't even think of anything to talk about with someone whom I am meeting after a long time. This makes me think I am pretty bore :-(

Expressions ...

Nowadays when I read books I let my expressions flow without paying any attention to where I am, whether I am reading in a public place surrounded by strangers or sitting somewhere more private. And these expressions are varied at times. 

Sometimes I smile when I read something which is either funny or reminds me of something. Sometimes I give a sigh if I encounter something that is tragic. I laugh too at times if it is hilarious but most of the time its the smile. I forget that may be someone might see, which seldom happens. In fact due to human tendency I sometimes deliberately let them flow for others to notice. But most of the time it comes out naturally.

Quote ....

Once I did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I did good, but that I heard never.

Books I have read or reading ...

Finally an update on what books I have read since I last updated and what book I am reading currently. Well as I have mentioned in my last books-i-am-reading post I have completed Tuesdays with Morrie next. Its a book which captures Mitch Albom's discussions with his teacher Morrie on various topics concerning life, which happens on Tuesday. Morrie was his college professor and is about to die. Mitch has lost touch with him after college and comes to meet him after hearing about his illness. Like Five people you meet in heaven this book too has certain statements that I liked very much and I have mentioned them in another post on Tuesdays with Morrie.

Needless to say another must read.

Next I read The White Tiger by Arvind Adiga. I am amazed with the liberty these authors take. He so freely used phrases like kissing God's ass and the way he openly called Muslims terrorist. May be this liberty is one criteria that helps them win the Booker. It started well but the ending was disappointing. The books traces the story of Balram who belongs to a small village in Bihar who despite being good student couldn't study because of his economical background but because of his trait of creating and reaping benefits out of any situation he becomes an entrepreneur. Although the book throws light about India, its villages, its disparity in working classes i.e. how a landowner's son inherently becomes the next landlord and a halwai(sweet maker)'s son can only become halwai etc , its corrupted politician and work structure but I don't agree the way it ended , the way Balram easily got away with the crime he committed and started his new prosperous life without caring for the consequences.


Anyways a nice read.


The next came "For one more day" by Mitch Albom. Like with other Mitch Albom books I have read ,from this too I liked certain statements which I have mentioned in another post on that book.
For one more day is a story of an ex baseball player who tries to commit suicide after he fails completely in his life and when even his daughter whom he loved so much doesn't want him around and don't even call him for her wedding. So when he goes to his native place to kill himself there he find his Mom who has already died and this book captures that one day he spends with his mother and when he goes through all the things that has happened in his life. Like all his book this is also must read from my side and its more touching because it captures a son-mother and son-father relation. Have written more about it in the other post I mentioned.


After that I read a sci-fiction novel by Satyajit Ray titled "Adventures of Professor Shonku" translated in English. Its a so -so book as the adventures it talked of were interesting and at times mysterious but the level of suspense and thrill was quite less. Also the main character's power was the scientific discoveries that he had made which were quite in the line of sci-fi like time machine, tablets which could make you immune against any poison or disease etc but like the famous Bomkesh Bakshi who always knew everything this guy also seemed less acceptable.


Then I picked up Bourne Identity by Robert Lundlum. Although I din't wanted to because I always pictured Bourne as Matt Damon whom I don't like. But nevertheless I did and as I have not seen any of the movies from the Bourne series this book was sheer pleasure to read. Its a really gripping book full of twists and mysteries and actions and although I could guess one of the main plot of the book beforehand but still it was worth reading. This book is the first of the trilogy and talks of a person Sam Bourne who has lost his memory and could not remember what his true identity is . So its a story of his struggle to find not only the answers to the questions but to also uncover the various questions that will lead him to his real identity.
I am looking forward to read the other two parts soon too.


Then I picked "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse. A spiritual and philosophical book on life. Its a fictional story about a Brahmin Siddhartha who lived at the times of Buddha and talks about his journey to find salvation. How he leaves his home at an young age to become an ascetic and then he leaves the sages with whom he was living as he found that all their learnings and practices is not helping him in conquering his self. Then how even after meeting Buddha, the Illustrious One, and listening to his teaching he still doesn't get satisfied and moves further on his journey and then he gets attracted to a courtesan and for her he starts working with a merchant to earn money and how slowly he gets indulged in the mortal life forgetting everything and then one day he realizes his mistake and he leaves everything and decides to die owing to the sins he has committed and then while he is about to take a plunge in the river he experiences a change and realized all his mistakes and decides to become a ferryman as he found that river teached him what he couldn't learn from anywhere else. And then story continues to his meeting the courtesan again who has also bored him a son and how she dies leaving him their son and how his son becomes rebellious as he is not used to a life of poverty and how Siddhartha tries to win him with love despite him being so spoilt and then the boy runs away to town and Siddhartha's longing for him and how he overcomes that and then attains salvation.


I will say a nice read and gives a nice perspective about life , its questions, its answers etc.


Currently I have picked up "The Reluctant Fundamentalist " by Mohsin Hamed. Its a discussion between a Pakistani and an American in Lahore cafe and throws a light on the disparities between the American West and Islamic East. Seems to be a kind of book I want to read about Islam and modern situations in Pakistan. This book was nominated for a large number of awards including the Man Booker. 


Will update in my next post how it was.

For one more day....

Image taken from coverbrowser.com

Another best seller from Mitch Albom after Five people you meet in Heaven and Tuesdays with Morrie. 

For one more day is a story of an ex baseball player who tries to commit suicide after he fails completely in his life.He was a phenomenal player in college but despite being drafted in the major league he couldn't last more than a year and despite all his father's pushing he never makes it back. He has lost his job, his wife has left him long time back, he spends most of his time drinking and doesn't have anyone who cares for him. And when even his only daughter whom he loved so much doesn't want him around and don't even call him for her wedding,he decides to end his life. So when he goes to his native place to kill himself there he find his Mom who has already died and this book captures that one day he spends with his mother and when he goes through all the things that has happened in his life. How he always loved his father the most and how his father left them one day and he blamed his mother for that. In that one day he came to know about the real reasons , the hardships his mother has taken for him.

Since this book talks a lot about a mother it itself becomes quite a touching story.

So here are the statements that I liked a lot from this book and as always my comment on the same.

Mothers support certain illusions about their children and one of my illusions was that I liked who I was, because she did.

Ha ha ha . So true. I always feel that a guy is very lucky at times as he always has two ladies who will always adore him and love him. One his mother and the other his sister. For these two ladies he is always the best. 

What is it about childhood that never lets you go, even when you're so wrecked its hard to believe you ever were a child?

Absolutely sometimes I feel I am the child who used to be so naughty and fun loving when he was a kid and sometimes I can't even imagine that I was that child. 

I can say I adored my mother in the way that boys adore their mothers while taking them for granted.

Hmmm , we guys always know that there is one person who will do everything possible for us like no need to care about whether our clothes are clean and pressed, what we will eat etc, whether we will get up on time for school or college or office etc and sometimes we do take her for granted. 

Her only flaw was that she didn't make me work for it.

A mother never makes a child long for her love or affection, she will never say do this then only you will get this. She will always give you that without making you toil for that. 

Kids chase the love that eludes them . 

And we guys always run for the love of our Dad. I still remember when I was recovering from food poisoning for which I was hospitalized and I went to a doctor for a checkup along with my Mother and my Dad was not in town and I know only how my mother managed everything. So the doctor asked me whom do you love more, Dad or Mom and I said without thinking Dad.

A mountaineer on being asked which is more difficult , Ascending or Descending ? Answered without a doubt descending because ascending you were so focussed on reaching the top you avoided mistakes.

So true.

Tuesdays with Morrie

Its a book which captures Mitch Albom's discussions with his teacher Morrie on various topics concerning life, that happens on Tuesday. Morrie was his college professor and he is about to die. Mitch has lost touch with him after college and comes to meet him after hearing about his illness. 

Morrie has been a guide and more so over a friend to Mitch when he was in college. He used to call him Coach. This book apart from being an inspirational book about life also depicts a lovely teacher - student relation , which I wish I could have. The way he calls him Coach and the way he reads his mind is really worth experiencing.

The book captures Mitch's meetings with Morrie at his house on every Tuesday, I guess around 7-8 Tuesdays. Mitch records each of their meeting in a tape recorder as directed by Morrie as Morrie wants everyone to listen to them even when he is no longer in this world. Every tuesday they meet to discuss one topic on life which includes family, marriage, children, career etc.

This book makes a very interesting and motivational read and like all inspirational books it doesn't tell anything that we already don't know but the way the story is stitched you can always relate to it.

So there are certain statements that are mentioned in the book that I would like to mention here and also comment about. They are as follows:

"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Accept the part as past, without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Don't assume that it's too late to get involved. "

Very true and as also mentioned by Dale Carnegie in one of his books , accepting things as they are is very important aspect of life. You just can't be rebellious about everything all the time. You can't always say No it can't happen to me. I don't deserve it. I guess the best way to overcome something or to do something about anything is to first accept how it is first then only we can be in a better position to overcome it.

  

"A teacher affects eternity;he can never tell where his influence stops" Henry Adams. 

He quotes this quote from Henry Adams and  of course he is damn right. No matter how old we get teachers are one people whom we respect and remember throughout our life. Even when we get highly successful we never fail to mention or remember their teachings which has helped us become what we are.

There is no experience like having children. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children. 

After reading this statement I again longed to have a child, The way a child loves and trust his parent is something that is must for everyone to experience. Many times I try to find out what we mean by being mature or maturity , although I don't have an answer but I guess one point when I can say that this person is mature or has matured when he is with his children , he somehow has an aura of responsibility, maturity and respect around him.

Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. 

Hmmm the last line is quite thought provoking.

Each night when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

I think that it  would be really beneficial if we could practice what Bapu has said. If we could get over all the thoughts , miseries etc when we go to sleep as if we are never going to get up again then when we will get up next day we will definitely feel quite fresh and rejuvenated.

Don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long.

The question it makes me ask is how long is too long and how soon is too soon? As they say that may be you have been successful if you had just hold on for one more moment or you gave up just before you were about to succeed. I feel the answer to how long or how soon is generally based on intuition.