Monday, February 28, 2011

Just an update...

Like I mentioned in one of my previous post that I plan to master some stuff so here is an update of the same....

History - Well I started reading some high school history books and making notes of the same.

Theology - I am currently reading "From the Holy Mountain" by William Darymple. Its a travelogue which covers his journey across the Middle East, tracing all the ancient places of worship for Christians . As you all must be knowing that Christanity , Islam and Jewism , all three were born at Jerusalem (Holy Mountain) and then spread from there to rest of the world. Till the 19th century most of middle east was dominated by different sects of Christanity but now there are only a handful of Christians left around that place. Although I have been reading it since last month but I could only manage around 150 pages of it . Everytime I think of leaving it and picking up something else I end up reading few pages which motivate me further.
Also like I mentioned earlier about writing few books about religion , so let me share that I have long time back decided on the title for one of them. Although it was initially only planned as a non-fiction book but  now I have decided to write a mixture of fiction and non-fiction on the same. And I have already thought of one of the plot that I will like to include and the main protagonists for the same. In fact I have even finalized the name of two other main characters too :)

Physics - Yet to start something on that subject.

Psychology - Same with it. yet to start.

The Tale of Two Seats...

The two place on which my bum rests the most play a very significant part in my life and that too in a contradictory manner.... 

The first one is the seat on which I want to spend the least amount of time in a day i.e my bus seat (I generally sit at the same seat everyday in the bus in the morning and another one in the evening) but its the one which gives me the most positive vibes I ever experienced in my life....Its like an old hindi saying "Keechar me hi Kamal khilta hai (Its only in mud that Lotus grows)"...Its the place where I feel so low because of the surroundings but its the only place where I get to think and ponder upon what I want to do with my life... All the ideas and thoughts , thinking which I feel a sense of life, a sense of going to accomplish something are born while sitting there.... Its where I get motivated to do all that I want to do and feel the enthusiasm to go to office and accomplish not only my professional but all my personal goals too.... Its where I make my to do list, prioritize them... Its where I feel like studying everything I want to.... Its where in the morning when the whole bus is sleeping , I am either reading a book or reading technical stuffs on my laptop.... the reason I mentioned technical is because like most of the people I too don't like reading those stuffs most of the time ..but while sitting on that seat I somehow get all the interest and motivation to read anything and everything...and most of the stuff that I have ever written on my blog has been thought of on that particular seat.. And when I get down from bus I am all pumped up to go and conquer the world and thats when I reach the second seat...i.e. my office seat...

Unlike my first seat the moment I reach my office seat my thoughts change..I don't know if its the path between the two or the seat itself but once I am seated there I loose most of the motivation and almost everyday the first 30-45 minutes of office are spend procastinating my work, about which I have planned so enthusiastically in the bus, and also the personal stuffs I quickly wanted to do or check after reaching office and instead I spend it surfing and checking my personal mails and facebook..... All my planning and thoughts of getting down straight with the work goes out of the window.

And as you can make out that the time spend on the first seat is relatively less than that on the second one so as result my actually efficiency is far less than what I can achieve.... 

Just for the records I am still performing above expectations for my office people but as the quote I love the most "People judge you on the basis of what you have done and you judge yourself on the basis of what you are capable of doing " 

Best --> Good --> Worst, Good --> Better --> Best

This year something strange is happening in my life.

Whenever something good or rather best starts happening in my life, I think of sharing the joy with you people but due to my bad habit of losing sheen of things that I think or see over twice, I somehow fail in writing that.

Like I said about my habit, sometimes I read a joke which I find really funny and think of sharing with others but by the time I copy paste it on the compose box or type on my cell phone, it loses all its charm and I feel it ain't that funny and discard the typed stuff.

So like I was saying, this year few things happened which were really worth sharing at their moment of occurence, but before I could finally get myself to write them out they completely changed color.

And had it happened just once I would have discarded them as one off incidence but they have become so frequent that I have to notice.

Say for example yesterday when India was batting as always I was feeling tensed and critical of God for the way he was batting but yet again he amazed me and showed why he is the greatest player ever. The way he batted in the middle overs, hitting sixes at ease when least expected, again demonstrated that he will never be done with showing something new every time he goes out. I know I owe numerous blog posts to him for what he has done for me and my happiness but that will still have to wait.

So I logged on to my laptop and thought of sharing this on blog but again somehow I procastinated and see what happened. We played such an awful game that I have started to doubt whether we will be able to win it even this time or not.

Like this just at the start of the year, one of friend gave a very good news about himself and we all were really excited and ever since that happened I was dying to share about it on blog and had planned a line of posts related to it but after delaying it for a while when I finally decided to go ahead everything falled apart..same happened with another friend.....and trend continues....
I am sad pardon me if I go on a blogging spree right now..... and it may happen that I start writing something and end up writing something completely different.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Was just feeling little sad...... have let myself down... I am not a cry baby .... Had too much faith on myself.....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Jack of all trades , Master of some...

Oflate I have decided that I will pick up few subjects and develop a mastery of them. May be even pursue a higher degree in it or write articles or books on them but foremost study them thoroughly.

While we were completing our education in school and then in college we studied a lot of subjects. Some we liked , some we din't but all of them were read with the sole purpose of scoring good grades or marks.

Still in school I used to grasp a lot of subjects with utmost interest and devotion but in college due to the culture, teaching methods and my laziness I could never develop a dedicated interest in any of the subjects. Its not that none of them fascinated me but I was somewhat caught between procastination and finding the answer to the question why am I studying it, which by the time I realised I was already working at some place which din't need any of that :)

Well while in college itself I have made up that I will revisit my college curriculum some day to study some of the subjects thoroughly . For that I even retained some of the books I bought in college but either I lost some of them to people who had younger brothers studying engineering or never "found" the time.

But now I have decided that I will pick up some subjects. I  agree that I wanted this from start but the motivation for the same came after I started watching the sitcom "Big Bang Theory". The sitcom is about four geeks ,3 of whom are Scientist and the fourth one is an engineer from MIT. The comedy revolves about their life. One of them, Sheldon who has an IQ of 197, is the most irritating but awesomely knowledgable. Nevertheless seeing them it made me appreciate their knowledge and the fact that they have total command of their subject and from their I got the idea to master some subjects.

So now coming to the subjects:
  • Physics - Yes I am engineer so it ought to be one of them, But not only that, its nevertheless one of the most fascinating subject that comes the closest to satisfying the rational human mind. I know Physics is quite a vast subject and one of most dreaded too but I do want to understand the logic behind all the theories and stuffs.
  • History - This is one subject thats one of my favorite and the reason I love reading books. Although I do read fiction at times to lighten up my mind but history n non-fiction is by far my most lovable subject, This was one reason I scored so high in Social Studies in my higher secondary. Ok again in history we have ancient, medieval and modern history. I don't know which one I will read more but nevertheless I will.
  • Theology - Although not that different from History in broader sense but study of religions is one thing I really want to do because this is one thing that has been responsible for changing the face of the world all the times. Be it partition of India, Holocaust ,Jehad , you just name it. In fact for sure one of my book will definitely be about religion and India if not world religion. In fact I have even thought of the name but I will disclose it the day I will really start writing it :)
  • Psychology - One of my favorite topic. Intially I wanted to study this subject to understand people but now I want to pursue it more to understand my own actions, Whether what all I think or do or feel is normal or I am really a psycho :). Although every now and then I can find some instances where others also feel and behave like me but still. Thats why I like to watch the reality shows like Roadies, Emotional Attachayar etc , seeing which I feel so bemused. It really surprises me to see that such people do exist and kind of make me appreciate myself.
Thats all. May be I will add some more but nevertheless this is something that I will really do.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Why get married ??? Part I....

For long time I had the cushion of having an elder sister who is yet to get married and then the fact that I am quite confident of talking my parents out of getting me married.

But now since its very likely that my sis is gonna get married in a year or two and also my parents every now n then brings up the topic of getting me sacrificed too, I have started to weigh this possibilty of scummbing to their pressure. Another reason being the fact that in the last few months I have seen parents of my friends going through so much while arranging for their weddings , be it meeting or talking with the reluctant parents of the bride, or searching for prospective brides for them, or making arrangements etc. So somehow I don't want to cause undue tensions among my folks by being too adamant.

But I still want to plan everything out according to my terms.

It seems its gonna be a huge post so I plan to split it into two, so that those souls who somehow will be generous enough to start reading it won't be forced to leave it midway :)

The first part I plan to talk about is why I don't want to get married and in the second I will talk what all I want first to happen.

Ok so coming to this post.

There are two primary reason for my aversion to getting married.

Even when I used to think that someday I may be in a relationship with "Her" I never visualised myself getting married to her. Ok thats another thing that with her I never wanted anything other than being a closest friend but still one or two times when it did cross my mind I never felt the conviction for that to happen. This was because, also happens to be the second reason, I am not comfortable with the fact that in India a marriage is not just the official bonding of two people ,rather its coming together of two whole families and that too not only at the second generation level but also at generation preceding to that. I just cannot accept that people who will have no say or interest in my life will play a role during that time. To be more clear I am most uncomfortable with the ceremonies around marriage. I don't understand why we have lavish ceremonies and why can't we keep it to some low key. To most of the people it doesn't matter that you are getting married , for them its just food, fun and photos. I do appreciate some genuine people and the fun we have but I really don't understand the need for all that fuss. I will prefer a low key court marriage followed by dinner with our immediate family.

So coming to the first primary reason,its the fact I din't want an arrange marriage because I feel an arrange marriage is a forced marriage between two people who leave spending time together would have never talked at all if they have not been asked initially by their parents. I know marriage's second name is adjustment , adjustment with your wishes , with your wants , with your desires but atleast in love marriage you or the other person is not adjusting with their choice. I agree that in arranged marriage too we get a chance to select the one we want to marry but still since the first meeting till the day it gets fixed there is lot of pretention and favorable environment that makes it happen. Also you are asked to decide in few meetings. Somehow it lacks the genuineness of love marriage where you genuinely get to know and spend time with each other beforehand.

To be continued.....

Not with DP please....

OK long time back or to be precise on May 13th 2009, I posted I love PZ and the reason was PZ looked like Her. And as result of how things went in the last few years I kind of couldn't look at PZ. Infact Dil Chahta Hai despite being one of my favorite movies, I only used to watch the first half, till the time Aamir moves to Australia where he falls in love with PZ and after that I use to skip till the last scene when Aamir meets Akshaye in the hospital.

And last few months ever since I stopped looking at her, I could look at times at PZ especially when she has those dimples as that is one thing only PZ have and she doesn't. Surprisingly since I follow PZ on twitter I even thought of dropping a personal message to PZ telling her all this :-P :-P Thank God I din't.

Now although a lot of things have changed and I am quite better and started accepting a lot of things but now something similar is happening with DP. Ever since she played I-don't-love-you-till-the-last-scene kind of roles in Love Aaj Kal and Break Ke Baad, I somehow having the same UNNNNNNNNn feeling towards her. I kind of dislike her I-am-very-clear , I-dont-need-you n I-am-happy-without-you expression and roles . Already Sonam Kapoor is giving her a fight in my Ohh-you-are-pretty list and now all this ... Mannnnn I seriously don't want this to happen to her.