Why get married ??? Part I....

For long time I had the cushion of having an elder sister who is yet to get married and then the fact that I am quite confident of talking my parents out of getting me married.

But now since its very likely that my sis is gonna get married in a year or two and also my parents every now n then brings up the topic of getting me sacrificed too, I have started to weigh this possibilty of scummbing to their pressure. Another reason being the fact that in the last few months I have seen parents of my friends going through so much while arranging for their weddings , be it meeting or talking with the reluctant parents of the bride, or searching for prospective brides for them, or making arrangements etc. So somehow I don't want to cause undue tensions among my folks by being too adamant.

But I still want to plan everything out according to my terms.

It seems its gonna be a huge post so I plan to split it into two, so that those souls who somehow will be generous enough to start reading it won't be forced to leave it midway :)

The first part I plan to talk about is why I don't want to get married and in the second I will talk what all I want first to happen.

Ok so coming to this post.

There are two primary reason for my aversion to getting married.

Even when I used to think that someday I may be in a relationship with "Her" I never visualised myself getting married to her. Ok thats another thing that with her I never wanted anything other than being a closest friend but still one or two times when it did cross my mind I never felt the conviction for that to happen. This was because, also happens to be the second reason, I am not comfortable with the fact that in India a marriage is not just the official bonding of two people ,rather its coming together of two whole families and that too not only at the second generation level but also at generation preceding to that. I just cannot accept that people who will have no say or interest in my life will play a role during that time. To be more clear I am most uncomfortable with the ceremonies around marriage. I don't understand why we have lavish ceremonies and why can't we keep it to some low key. To most of the people it doesn't matter that you are getting married , for them its just food, fun and photos. I do appreciate some genuine people and the fun we have but I really don't understand the need for all that fuss. I will prefer a low key court marriage followed by dinner with our immediate family.

So coming to the first primary reason,its the fact I din't want an arrange marriage because I feel an arrange marriage is a forced marriage between two people who leave spending time together would have never talked at all if they have not been asked initially by their parents. I know marriage's second name is adjustment , adjustment with your wishes , with your wants , with your desires but atleast in love marriage you or the other person is not adjusting with their choice. I agree that in arranged marriage too we get a chance to select the one we want to marry but still since the first meeting till the day it gets fixed there is lot of pretention and favorable environment that makes it happen. Also you are asked to decide in few meetings. Somehow it lacks the genuineness of love marriage where you genuinely get to know and spend time with each other beforehand.

To be continued.....