What to talk about?

Sometimes I wish I could be invisible so that I could sit around conversing people and find out what exactly they are talking about. I feel so deprived of things on which I can converse with people. I think I am the quietest guy ever who seldom has anything to talk about. Its not that I don't know about things. I do. Its just what to talk about is missing. I can't even think of anything to talk about with someone whom I am meeting after a long time. This makes me think I am pretty bore :-(

Expressions ...

Nowadays when I read books I let my expressions flow without paying any attention to where I am, whether I am reading in a public place surrounded by strangers or sitting somewhere more private. And these expressions are varied at times. 

Sometimes I smile when I read something which is either funny or reminds me of something. Sometimes I give a sigh if I encounter something that is tragic. I laugh too at times if it is hilarious but most of the time its the smile. I forget that may be someone might see, which seldom happens. In fact due to human tendency I sometimes deliberately let them flow for others to notice. But most of the time it comes out naturally.

Quote ....

Once I did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I did good, but that I heard never.

Books I have read or reading ...

Finally an update on what books I have read since I last updated and what book I am reading currently. Well as I have mentioned in my last books-i-am-reading post I have completed Tuesdays with Morrie next. Its a book which captures Mitch Albom's discussions with his teacher Morrie on various topics concerning life, which happens on Tuesday. Morrie was his college professor and is about to die. Mitch has lost touch with him after college and comes to meet him after hearing about his illness. Like Five people you meet in heaven this book too has certain statements that I liked very much and I have mentioned them in another post on Tuesdays with Morrie.

Needless to say another must read.

Next I read The White Tiger by Arvind Adiga. I am amazed with the liberty these authors take. He so freely used phrases like kissing God's ass and the way he openly called Muslims terrorist. May be this liberty is one criteria that helps them win the Booker. It started well but the ending was disappointing. The books traces the story of Balram who belongs to a small village in Bihar who despite being good student couldn't study because of his economical background but because of his trait of creating and reaping benefits out of any situation he becomes an entrepreneur. Although the book throws light about India, its villages, its disparity in working classes i.e. how a landowner's son inherently becomes the next landlord and a halwai(sweet maker)'s son can only become halwai etc , its corrupted politician and work structure but I don't agree the way it ended , the way Balram easily got away with the crime he committed and started his new prosperous life without caring for the consequences.


Anyways a nice read.


The next came "For one more day" by Mitch Albom. Like with other Mitch Albom books I have read ,from this too I liked certain statements which I have mentioned in another post on that book.
For one more day is a story of an ex baseball player who tries to commit suicide after he fails completely in his life and when even his daughter whom he loved so much doesn't want him around and don't even call him for her wedding. So when he goes to his native place to kill himself there he find his Mom who has already died and this book captures that one day he spends with his mother and when he goes through all the things that has happened in his life. Like all his book this is also must read from my side and its more touching because it captures a son-mother and son-father relation. Have written more about it in the other post I mentioned.


After that I read a sci-fiction novel by Satyajit Ray titled "Adventures of Professor Shonku" translated in English. Its a so -so book as the adventures it talked of were interesting and at times mysterious but the level of suspense and thrill was quite less. Also the main character's power was the scientific discoveries that he had made which were quite in the line of sci-fi like time machine, tablets which could make you immune against any poison or disease etc but like the famous Bomkesh Bakshi who always knew everything this guy also seemed less acceptable.


Then I picked up Bourne Identity by Robert Lundlum. Although I din't wanted to because I always pictured Bourne as Matt Damon whom I don't like. But nevertheless I did and as I have not seen any of the movies from the Bourne series this book was sheer pleasure to read. Its a really gripping book full of twists and mysteries and actions and although I could guess one of the main plot of the book beforehand but still it was worth reading. This book is the first of the trilogy and talks of a person Sam Bourne who has lost his memory and could not remember what his true identity is . So its a story of his struggle to find not only the answers to the questions but to also uncover the various questions that will lead him to his real identity.
I am looking forward to read the other two parts soon too.


Then I picked "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse. A spiritual and philosophical book on life. Its a fictional story about a Brahmin Siddhartha who lived at the times of Buddha and talks about his journey to find salvation. How he leaves his home at an young age to become an ascetic and then he leaves the sages with whom he was living as he found that all their learnings and practices is not helping him in conquering his self. Then how even after meeting Buddha, the Illustrious One, and listening to his teaching he still doesn't get satisfied and moves further on his journey and then he gets attracted to a courtesan and for her he starts working with a merchant to earn money and how slowly he gets indulged in the mortal life forgetting everything and then one day he realizes his mistake and he leaves everything and decides to die owing to the sins he has committed and then while he is about to take a plunge in the river he experiences a change and realized all his mistakes and decides to become a ferryman as he found that river teached him what he couldn't learn from anywhere else. And then story continues to his meeting the courtesan again who has also bored him a son and how she dies leaving him their son and how his son becomes rebellious as he is not used to a life of poverty and how Siddhartha tries to win him with love despite him being so spoilt and then the boy runs away to town and Siddhartha's longing for him and how he overcomes that and then attains salvation.


I will say a nice read and gives a nice perspective about life , its questions, its answers etc.


Currently I have picked up "The Reluctant Fundamentalist " by Mohsin Hamed. Its a discussion between a Pakistani and an American in Lahore cafe and throws a light on the disparities between the American West and Islamic East. Seems to be a kind of book I want to read about Islam and modern situations in Pakistan. This book was nominated for a large number of awards including the Man Booker. 


Will update in my next post how it was.

For one more day....

Image taken from coverbrowser.com

Another best seller from Mitch Albom after Five people you meet in Heaven and Tuesdays with Morrie. 

For one more day is a story of an ex baseball player who tries to commit suicide after he fails completely in his life.He was a phenomenal player in college but despite being drafted in the major league he couldn't last more than a year and despite all his father's pushing he never makes it back. He has lost his job, his wife has left him long time back, he spends most of his time drinking and doesn't have anyone who cares for him. And when even his only daughter whom he loved so much doesn't want him around and don't even call him for her wedding,he decides to end his life. So when he goes to his native place to kill himself there he find his Mom who has already died and this book captures that one day he spends with his mother and when he goes through all the things that has happened in his life. How he always loved his father the most and how his father left them one day and he blamed his mother for that. In that one day he came to know about the real reasons , the hardships his mother has taken for him.

Since this book talks a lot about a mother it itself becomes quite a touching story.

So here are the statements that I liked a lot from this book and as always my comment on the same.

Mothers support certain illusions about their children and one of my illusions was that I liked who I was, because she did.

Ha ha ha . So true. I always feel that a guy is very lucky at times as he always has two ladies who will always adore him and love him. One his mother and the other his sister. For these two ladies he is always the best. 

What is it about childhood that never lets you go, even when you're so wrecked its hard to believe you ever were a child?

Absolutely sometimes I feel I am the child who used to be so naughty and fun loving when he was a kid and sometimes I can't even imagine that I was that child. 

I can say I adored my mother in the way that boys adore their mothers while taking them for granted.

Hmmm , we guys always know that there is one person who will do everything possible for us like no need to care about whether our clothes are clean and pressed, what we will eat etc, whether we will get up on time for school or college or office etc and sometimes we do take her for granted. 

Her only flaw was that she didn't make me work for it.

A mother never makes a child long for her love or affection, she will never say do this then only you will get this. She will always give you that without making you toil for that. 

Kids chase the love that eludes them . 

And we guys always run for the love of our Dad. I still remember when I was recovering from food poisoning for which I was hospitalized and I went to a doctor for a checkup along with my Mother and my Dad was not in town and I know only how my mother managed everything. So the doctor asked me whom do you love more, Dad or Mom and I said without thinking Dad.

A mountaineer on being asked which is more difficult , Ascending or Descending ? Answered without a doubt descending because ascending you were so focussed on reaching the top you avoided mistakes.

So true.

Tuesdays with Morrie

Its a book which captures Mitch Albom's discussions with his teacher Morrie on various topics concerning life, that happens on Tuesday. Morrie was his college professor and he is about to die. Mitch has lost touch with him after college and comes to meet him after hearing about his illness. 

Morrie has been a guide and more so over a friend to Mitch when he was in college. He used to call him Coach. This book apart from being an inspirational book about life also depicts a lovely teacher - student relation , which I wish I could have. The way he calls him Coach and the way he reads his mind is really worth experiencing.

The book captures Mitch's meetings with Morrie at his house on every Tuesday, I guess around 7-8 Tuesdays. Mitch records each of their meeting in a tape recorder as directed by Morrie as Morrie wants everyone to listen to them even when he is no longer in this world. Every tuesday they meet to discuss one topic on life which includes family, marriage, children, career etc.

This book makes a very interesting and motivational read and like all inspirational books it doesn't tell anything that we already don't know but the way the story is stitched you can always relate to it.

So there are certain statements that are mentioned in the book that I would like to mention here and also comment about. They are as follows:

"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Accept the part as past, without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Don't assume that it's too late to get involved. "

Very true and as also mentioned by Dale Carnegie in one of his books , accepting things as they are is very important aspect of life. You just can't be rebellious about everything all the time. You can't always say No it can't happen to me. I don't deserve it. I guess the best way to overcome something or to do something about anything is to first accept how it is first then only we can be in a better position to overcome it.

  

"A teacher affects eternity;he can never tell where his influence stops" Henry Adams. 

He quotes this quote from Henry Adams and  of course he is damn right. No matter how old we get teachers are one people whom we respect and remember throughout our life. Even when we get highly successful we never fail to mention or remember their teachings which has helped us become what we are.

There is no experience like having children. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children. 

After reading this statement I again longed to have a child, The way a child loves and trust his parent is something that is must for everyone to experience. Many times I try to find out what we mean by being mature or maturity , although I don't have an answer but I guess one point when I can say that this person is mature or has matured when he is with his children , he somehow has an aura of responsibility, maturity and respect around him.

Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. 

Hmmm the last line is quite thought provoking.

Each night when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

I think that it  would be really beneficial if we could practice what Bapu has said. If we could get over all the thoughts , miseries etc when we go to sleep as if we are never going to get up again then when we will get up next day we will definitely feel quite fresh and rejuvenated.

Don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long.

The question it makes me ask is how long is too long and how soon is too soon? As they say that may be you have been successful if you had just hold on for one more moment or you gave up just before you were about to succeed. I feel the answer to how long or how soon is generally based on intuition.

Helps to talk ...

Last Friday I attended a HR training on Team Building, so in that our trainer was citing an example while discussing inter personal relationship. So the example he cited was like this.

It was related to him and his colleague in HR. So our trainer had an experience of 7-8 years at that time and this other guy just joined in. So as we all know that HR guys are so jolly and how they always greet everyone loudly, so our trainer thought that he should make this guy feel comfortable so he went across his seat and waved him big Hi but this guy din't acknowledge that and just continued with his work. So now our trainer got really agitated because of that and from that day onwards he thought I will show this guy and everyday he used to pass through his cubicle despite it being on the wrong way of his own seat so that he could just pass through him without acknowledging him. In short he started sulking and doing things so unlike his cheerful behavior. This he did for a week then he could no longer take it, so one day he decided to confront him and tell him that his behavior that day hurt him. So one day without having any work he stayed back as this guy used to stay back daily and he went to his seat after everyone has left and he uttered his name and said I have to talk to you about something and this guy without looking at him just said "whats the matter" and just then hearing his tone our trainer realised that this guy has no issues with him and infact he don't even know that there is something wrong and our trainer thus realised his mistake and then he just changed his tone andcheerful inquired after him, his family and after that he became normal and stopped sulking.


Now although there are many points to discuss here but the point that he mentioned next is what this post is all about. He said that whenever you have a problem with anyone it only helps to talk with that person and no matter how many friends or well wishers you talk to its irrelevant.


I agree that yes it can be only resolved when you talk to the concerned person but at times when that is not possible , at that time I feel talking to anyone does help. For me there are two points why I say so. First whenever we talk to someone we feel light, for some moment we feel that the thing that is bothering us does not exist or it has been shared with someone else and second is as with my case most of the time I find people behave or react in a manner quite contrary to what I expect, when I tell them what is bothering. They reply in such a manner which shows a completely different perspective then what I am thinking. So this thing helps me to accept the things.

Love as misunderstood by me.....

Few days back (I don't exactly remember when) I was watching DDLJ. The ideal filmi love story where the guy meets the girl, initially there are those I-don't-like-you fights, then they fall in love but by that time the girls marriage is already fixed so then guy tries to win over her family especially her angry dad and at the end her father agrees and everything is just perfectly fine.

So I remember that when this movie was released I was quite young and was in school and this was and is quite popular romantic movie among people especially girls because it portray the concept of there is a prince charming somewhere for every girl who will one day come and sweep her off her feet. So if I talk with respect to hindi films there is a Raj somewhere for every girl. 

Now this post is not about those girls rather this is my take on what is there in it for guys. There are three instances in the movie which I would have love to live (ironically I cannot live the first two but I think I will experience the third one for the same girl). The first instance is when Simran asks Raj what kind of girl he wants. He just answers "Someone like you ". 

Second when they are standing on the bridge and he his playing the infamous " Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam" tune and he tells her looking into her eyes that " I love you" and when she is about to believe him he just says I was kidding.  So envious of him that he could do that.


And third which is the only one I will get to experience is when they are parting at the station and she asks him "Tum Meri Shaadi pe aaoge na?" and he just says "NO".

God ...

Sachin Tendulkar says that God has been kind to him. So I would like to thank God for that. Please keep being kind to him. 

Ameen

:(

Its been so long since I wrote anything. And I have so many things to write about starting from the Hockey World Cup match I twice went to see, then there is the IPL match I saw at Ferozshah Kotla, New Delhi, where I watched God play cricket from so close. Then there is the trip to Orchcha, Khajaraho and Bandhavgarh. Then the regular updates on the book I am reading. Also my observation on certain incidents that happened around me. Many naughty and serious things. Etc etc ... 

Although more than lack of motivation it was due to lack of interest and at times means because of which I have not written anything. Although I was busy with office work but I believe you are never busy for the things you want to do ...

Anyways in mood today to write about certain things .... :)